I love myself enough…..

I love myself enough to do what is necessary. I love myself enough to make some very difficult changes. I love myself enough to embark on this journey and stick with it. I love myself enough to change my lifestyle. And I love myself enough to try.

Two weeks ago I had yet another surgery. It just so happens to have been the 5th one in the last 4 years. The last 4 years have been the most difficult years of my life. 4 years! I had come to terms with the fact I was going to be sick for the rest of my life. Having been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, endometriosis and functional movement disorder; chronic pain and fatigue were just a fraction of what my life has become. After surgery the doctor discovered the endometriosis has taken ahold of my bladder, a fairly rare occurrence. I figured, “ok, just one more thing to add to the list.”

However, something struck me really hard today and I just thought to myself I’ve had enough!!! I’ve had enough of always being tired, sick, weak and overweight. I’ve had enough of giving into my disabilities. So I have decided to make a change.

I do not expect fast or easy results. I do not expect a miracle cure. In fact, I don’t expect to be cured at all. What I do need is something to make my quality of life better.

So today marks the first day of my new journey. The first day of change. Currently I do not drink ANY water during the day. I consume an average of 3 sodas and 2 cups of coffee per day. I eat out about 4 or 5 times a week. Carbs and Sugars have been my weakness. I smoke almost a pack of cigarettes a day.

My goal is to stop putting all of these toxins into my body. slowly because Lord knows I never have been successful quitting anything cold turkey.

Today I started with a glass of water. Tomorrow I’ll make another change. Each day I’m going to tell myself that I am worth the change.

Because I love myself enough to do what is necessary

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Hidden behind Fame

itslenasccc's Blog

I ran across a Facebook post by Cindy over at FibroColors mentioning that Morgan Freeman had been living with Fibromyalgia. Now I’m a huge fan of Mr. Freeman and almost every movie I’ve ever seen him in. So I have to google it. The first link that pops up is an awe inspiring article by Tom Chiarella. “This Earth That Holds Me Fast Will Find Me Breath” The Morgan Freeman Story absolutely gave me chills. It even brought a tear to my eye.

If I’d have been alone, no doubt I’d have cried hard upon reading the descriptive words about how Freeman’s life had been changed. How he could no longer do the things that had once brought him so much joy. What hit me even harder, was how he simply took the same pleasure in just walking his land in Mississippi.

Here is a man that rode horses every…

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Take for Granted

Lost in this cloudy haze/
Wondering if its just a phase/
Moments pass me by/
Leave me only asking why/

What’s the point of all this mess?/
Why am I in all this stress?/
Is there more to my life?/
I can hardly find the drive /

To push on through/
Like you all do/
Takes more from me/
Than you’ll ever see/

A simple task you take for granted/
A healthy life you were handed/
Nothing is the way it seems/
My inhibitions haunt my dreams/

Broken

Been beat down and broken inside/
Filled with emotions I just can’t hide/
Tears pour from tortured eyes/
Hiding behind a stream of lies/

Trying so hard to break me down/
Have me so low I won’t be found/
Lost in a world unknown/
Knowing only that I am alone/

Words spew from broken lips/
Reading from unwanted scripts/
Hatred seen amongst their eyes/
Left asking a train of whys/

True colors being shown/
If only I had always known/
Bringing myself back from dead/
Keeping their lies out of my head/

Finding my grip on reality/
Finding ways to set me free/
A love so strong and true/
Known to just a few/

If you dare to see/
The person I aim to be/
Take a look into my eyes/
Staring back through all those lies/

By Lena May